Hey, fam.
Thanks for all the love and support as I human. Yes, I know it’s a codependent relationship. He gave me another work out as my personal trainer. I appreciate it. A few of you have questioned bipolar or borderline personality disorder, which I’m not sure so I’m not going to deny. I prefer the term ‘in my feelings.’ He’s all I can handle at the moment. My world is very very very small and he’s stupid hot and I wanna see him finish school. I’m happy sometimes. Day at a time. He makes me feel safer when I think about my stalkers or my other exes. He cares in his own way and we both have acknowledged we can’t always give each other what we need. I have stuff I have to work on, too. I’ve been a lot as well. Now, that he has his own place there’s a part of me that’s freaking out that he’s gonna be gone. Time to be more adult and mature. He’s been helping out a lot more recently and in my heart he’ll always be Lover #1 until we let go of each other or idk.
Thanks for the 50 new customs requests and 100 new video call requests. 😶
I know y’all are trolling for free attention so if you want me to turn on tip to chat like the A team girls do then I will. Send when you’re ready, I’m not your free adult bae care center. 🤣
If you’ve tipped or spent $20 or more, send me a rose emoji for a personal and custom voice message. 😇🌹 Super sponsors are always welcome to request love. With a heart ♥️ or 🌹 emoji. I will spend the whole night at home with you guys. You are my whole world and I wish I could share the convos. Sometimes we get flagged for them so I’m thinking of posting them to Insta instead.
If you’ve spent $50 or more, I will gift you bonus stuff for keepsies or quiet snap time. It’s up to you! If you’ve spent like $1000 or more you can request streams. Just communicate with me. I’m not perfect but I’m trying. You guys are the best online husbands, lovers and knights a girl could ask for. Im eternally thankful and grateful for u guys and I will take over the world and take care of it with your help.
I will be answering on all accounts so you know it’s me. Unlike most I am real and I am fiercely loyal and caring. I really care about you guys even if it’s not sexual. Lovers are temporary. Friends are forever.
Remember to spread the tributes on all accounts so I can mark your name accordingly. I drop the hard act when I see you’re not here to take advantage of me/ see me for free.
All progress is good progress @maihero
Before you ask, yes I had to post that last one. I read too many messages again. 🤣
It wouldn’t kill y’all to spend $5-$40 before making requests. 🤣🤣🤣 emotional labor is a real thing.
You want to turn us on Don’t you? I’m helping you by enlightening you. If the guy who spent 3k on a creator isn’t pressuring her for customs or m33tups then obvs shes not interested in the guy who spent 0 and is asking for circus tricks or cucking where she has to pay the co-star, too. If a model offers to let you see her in panties for $5 and you ignore it then why would she want to keep talking to you? Come on now. 🤣 Am I spoiled or smart? Chances are you’re getting the cold shoulder from a lot of these models when you request video calls and customs and now you understand why. 😇 just make that initial purchase first and see how she does warms up. I’m helping you!!!
If you’re one of the 5 people i owe a custom to send a rose. 🌹 I don’t plan on taking any more customs I realized it’s a ripoff to creators and we’re kinda idiots for doing them so this is just for a few special people until I have more time. 🤣
if I flash my pussy live for 40 bucks (originally 80), asking me for a 5 minute video for 40 bucks blasting both my blowholes is just not smart on creators end. A handful of customs for people who have been loyal and generous is okay, but a lot of people want to skip the teasing part and I hope creators reading this don’t get taken advantage of. Like if you’re not willing to spend $5 on a booty in panties pic why should I go out of my way to show you everything for 20 or 40?
(Go meditate, Cindy. You ain’t gotta do too much or get heated)
If you request a custom before spending a single dollar please go spend $100 first. Thank you, stay respectful. 💙
Stop asking for customs if you’ve never spent a $1, seriously 🤣
I’ll go live tonight.
#cindymoon #onlyfans
He cleaned my fridge and gave me his king bed and put it together. That was nice. It’s too big for his new room at his new place. He didn’t have to do that was kind of him. I tried not to nag every time I hear him vape. I didn’t actually throw away his food, I didn’t have it in me. I put it in the fridge.
I took my snaps by myself. Didn’t complete the few customs in queue, yet. Some people might have slipped from the list for snaps. Will try again after I sleep with more energy. Posted to 4 of my instas. Must make a new photoshoot for patrons.
Count blessings and remember tomorrow is a new day to be great.
I’m at 920,000 insta viewers. Thanks for the boosts. Let’s shoot for 1 million. ⭐️💖🌙🌍
I’ve tried to make helping me as easy as possible and he somehow ruins it and me every time. He can’t even handle dinner, run a meme page for me where you post Garfield at least once a day with my link tree in the bio or record a video of me without it shaking or complaining. Im running over 7 social media pages by myself while he claims I don’t have a real job. I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want you here anymore.
I can’t do this anymore. He can’t just help when I ask. I don’t understand and I just don’t care anymore. I don’t want to cook for you. I don’t want to help you anymore. I don’t want to love you anymore.
He’s just not the person I need and this is my fault for trying to see him as more than he can actually be.
I blew up on him and he left again. I’m fine with it. I got tired of him giving me advice or more tasks to do whenever I ask for help. I don’t need a loser who isn’t smart enough to give me some peace and help around here. As if piling up more stuff for me to do is somehow helpful to me. I threw out his dinner. If he can’t appreciate it, I don’t want him to have it and I’m irritated that he’s making me serve him over cooked and cold food and this is how I’m supposed to be remembered. Go back to eating fast food every day by yourself.
Sending today’s Snapchats and then taking care of more stuff around the house. A few of you ask why he’s still here and it’s cuz we’re both still attached to each other and his gym is closeby. He has no bed or tv at his new place, yet. I hate that I’ve had to reheat his steak dinner 3 times for him to not eat it and by then it’s just rubber. Not that my cooking is that great but when he waits 5-8 hours before eating my food doesn’t help. Just constant vaping and energy drinks that suppresses his appetite until he gives in and eats food to stop me from nagging. I can’t live like this anymore. I give up on him. I don’t want to see, hear, smell or know he’s vaping anymore. Especially the hearing it.
Thanked him for helping me with the car while I work and for the physical help tossing out my old bed. It’s still not enough help but it’s still help.
He won’t help with any of the super important stuff and I don’t want to wait for him anymore.
I went for a walk. He came back. Ate some of the food. I’m angsty, huffy and in my own feelings thinking about everything. Wishing I was more independent and I finally tackled the dishes. I told him I need another walk. Before I left to decompress I dramatically told him I hope he falls in love with someone who does to him what he did to me. He said go take ur walk. I’m heading to the gym after I finish eating. It just rained and I love the just rained weather… so I’m letting myself absorb some fresh air and oxygen while I let my thoughts flow out.
I need peace so I can relax, get horny, make content, set this all up, continue learning, write without someone telling me I’m a shit writer and live. I don’t want to be around someone addicted to strezz and I want someone who wants to be around me. How are you here all the time but never have time for me? You’re here all the time and can’t help me or won’t? I need more than someone who does bare minimum. I deserve it all.
Winding down and walking.
and enjoying songs like
Let Me Love you by Mario,
in the name of love by Bebe Rexha,
Favorite Song by Toosi & Khalid,
people by Libianca,
Alone by Marshmello
Imagine by Marshmello
Good love by City Girls feat. Usher
Slut pop Album by Kim Petras
Some songs by Trina
Some songs by Nicki Minaj
Some songs by Britney Spears
I just realized I missed another acting class. 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve been mind stuck from the strezz of this guy existing (that I tried to love that kind of loves me) and all the news and history I was reading …and worrying about Myanmar, Iran and all these places around the world on the same timeline as us that I missed out on living in real life again.
I should learn how to write English without Run on sentences, too.
(If you’re not into stream of consciousness posts, keep scrolling. This is for the people who enjoy when I disrupt the feed.)
I don’t really like the person I am right now.
It’s not me. Not the me I want people to remember me by anyways.
To be completely honest; I’ve been constantly nagging, complaining or being negative in real life.
I want to be happy, loving and carefree.
But What would you be like if the person you cared about drank 3-5 energy drinks or coffees a day, smoked a pack a day since highschool and you had to watch them do that to themself every day?
I care enough to say something when nobody else will. These chemicals in our products are more ??? Than we realize. I lost both my grandparents to cigarettes and never got to talk to them. I don’t know how to explain how desperate I was to get him to stop and he quit again. I’m very proud of him and happy about that. I stabbbed his last empty pack of cigarettes a few weeks ago with a steak knifee and left it on his duffel bag of clothes by the door to be clear. He’d rather eat cigarettes than food with me…
I told him he doesn’t have to quit for me or for him but for his future kidz who are gonna need him for as long as possible. Even if they’re not my kidz, I want to see him be happy and healthy. I know it’s not easy to beat addictionn but enough is enough. This shouldn’t even be on my plate to worry about when I can’t get a handle on my career.
I can’t focus with all this stuff on my mind and view. (The only addictionss anyone should have is me.)
Now it’s us against his vaping addictionss.
He keeps saying it’s harmless but I look at all the giant bottles of yellow slime laying about and watch him empty them so fast. I am on edge. I don’t want to be on edge.
It can’t be good to coat your lungs with all this stuff every day. He keeps saying it’s harmless, just vapor and mist. I’m positive it’s not. Can you please just get High on life instead? Maybe an occasional dab. I’m tired of fighting idiots about stuff I shouldn’t have to worry about. So much noise.
I didn’t want to blow up just now and he went out to put airs on the tire in the raining and thundering storm than rather talk to me right now.
I’m eating quietly at home by myself and then waiting for him to eat my food 6 hours later again when it’s not fresh or good anymore. He never eats my food after I’ve just made it. Never. Vaping is better than eating nutrient dense fresh cooked food with me and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I love him less and less every day.
I wish I could do something but it’s his fight and I don’t want a part of this anymore. It’s like he’s addictedd to stress and cheap thrills. I’m a completely different person from since we first met. This has all changed me. I’m slipping away faster and faster every day. I don’t need an on and off toxic situationship to take care of someone with a sooner than most expiration date. If he’s not strong enough to choose himself or me, then I’m going to be out of his life.
If that’s what he wants, then so be it.
I don’t ever want to date anyone addicted to nicotine, porn and caffeine again.
Chad helped me some last night with my car on the side of the road so I could send out seggsy snaps. We had to replace the tire but the donut tire was also deflated so we’re finishing today. He helped deconstruct my broken bed and toss it out. It’s storming and thundering strongly right now, too. I don’t want either of us out there while it’s dangerous.
I kept trying to cook and provide nutritious meal not just for him but for myself, too. Let’s eat, let’s eat, I say before, during and after our errands trip to storage unit and Costco, only for him to keep pushing and pushing meal time away while vaping poison every other minute and drinking his second energy drink for the day. It all makes him less hungry and takes away his appetite. He just keeps saying, I’m not hungry, I’m not hungry and chugs more energy drinks and milk.
Meanwhile I’m starving and eventually I just blew up at him cuz it’s so obvious that he doesn’t care about feeding himself but me either. He has never in his entire life given a fuck about whether I’ve eaten or not and I just had it and I’m eating without him.
If you want to choose cheap, toxic thrills like cigarettes and vaping over me then enjoy losing me to someone willing to eat a whole meal with me without leaving to consume chemicals every other minute. If you can’t make sure your girl is fed and happy id be damned if I ever decide to give you kids cuz you wouldn’t make sure they’re fed either. Fuck you.
