I’m not completely sure what’s going on in his head. I need ..

I’m not completely sure what’s going on in his head. I need to talk out loud. I want peace? Like a life with no antagonizing. Like even 2 days without it. (Second antagonizing event of day by him for no reason at all. ) we left Supercon after party and it was 3 am. He drove to wawas get more beer. I saw bright colorful banners about hoagies. There’s some hoagiepalooza special or celebration at wawas and it caught my eye while I was there as he was getting more alcohol. Wawas has decent hoagies. I bought myself a classic sub from wawas to feed myself instead of the shorti. I didn’t need a lot of food at the moment and I like to eat slow. I liked the marketing decor on the inside for the sandwiches and I knew I should eat. I always care and he can’t or won’t cook for himself and he always puts it on me to handle dinner. I tried not cooking for him for a little bit and he fed himself smoked ham chunks and deli cheese for 3 days until he got sick. It’s like he’s a giant man baby. I started cooking and feeding him again cuz he had me worried sick. I got the classic size cuz I was gonna offer him half. I didn’t need more than a shorti. It was like 4 am and so I told him if he’s hungry he can have half my sub but I SPECIFICALLY and CLEARLY said to PLEASE leave my half alone so I have something to eat. I had only taken 2 bites out of it. He ate my half, too. … He does this kind of thing all the time. I was running on fumes when it comes to us. I told him VERY SPECIFICALLY not to eat my half and he ate the rest of my dinner. I had a huge meltdown. For 3 hours. I just can’t handle him anymore. I don’t want to live on the edge like this anymore. I’m not asking for the world. He said I shouldn’t be having autistic meltdowns over a sandwich but it’s not about the sandwich. It’s about him taking every opportunity to instigate, antagonize and torment me until I break down. I don’t understand why he’s doing this. No matter how much I scream at him that he shouldn’t go against what I ask, respect my boundaries n wishes, or that he should be giving me the content to sell on my page, he won’t listen to me. Even though it would only benefit him if I am successful, carefree and happy. He doesn’t want me happy at all and I don’t understand why unless he just doesn’t love me. I need good days. I deserve good days. I don’t want to write essays online almost every day anymore. He’s calling me crazy while driving me crazy. Nobody wants a life like this and I cant work or breathe when I’m just always on guard and on edge about the next time he’s going to disrespect me or disregard my feelings and act like he did nothing wrong. I think if he cared about me he would handle dinner once a month, give me the content we make and give me a year where I look forward to events and have nice days. Not have me meltdown almost every day by purposely going against what I ask. I deserve better than this. You’d rather hurt the only person you have left until I leave you just like your ex wife did, then that’s fine. You’re not the only person in the world willing to sleep with me and I want people who want to see me succeed, be happy and will actually help me get there.